For a while now, I’ve been feeling broken..not all together…and what I’m learning is that just because I am or even feel broken-that doesn’t mean I am not blessed! I just wanted to share that with you all. No matter what you are going through or where you may find yourself right now-you can still acknowledge and receive blessings and still be a blessing! This past weekend has helped me realize that. People from all ages and different types of relationships in my life have been pouring blessings into my life. Seemingly, effortlessly! I am just so grateful to still be blessed and know that even when I’m broken – I’m not useless. I’m not bitter and I’m yet able to receive when I didn’t expect to have the capacity to hold anything in my brokenness. I’m overwhelmed! I know I stated in a previous post that I hated myself but I don’t. I think that my lifestyle has been a burden for me lately and carrying it made me feel bad, I suppose. I am encouraged because even in the midst of feeling this way I know that I’m not a horrible person. I have some habits that I need to break, didn’t really know how to stop-still not really sure BUT I’m still in a state of becoming. My brokenness is not my name, maybe a label but I’m convinced I’ll be better because of carrying this. I’ll be stronger after I carry this until it is laid to be buried. Overwhelmed is a good word. I began to think that I was borderline broken beyond repair but I just need some mending from my manufacturer. I just need a moment to collect my pieces to see how everything will fit together. My brokenness doesn’t make me a failure. My feeling lost doesn’t keep me from being found. My inability to accept and deal with this present struggle doesn’t mean I’ll be here or broken forever because I am and YOU are still blessed (by the best)!
I’m not saying that I understand it (what I’m going through) or even what you are going through but what I do understand is that REGARDLESS of that, breakthrough will come by way of my brokenness. I dare say that there is purpose in my brokenness and I WILL BE better. I’m grateful for the faith I have to say this even while I’m frustrated and hurting. I pray that you all are encouraged to pick up the pieces, if you feel broken and ask for (NOT the thing, habit, feeling, person, etc. who broke you) One who is able to mend those pieces and put them together.
Sometimes, I think that whatever I was before I was broken, was the reason I was broken that I might be put back together, pieced back together with those pieces that are necessary for me. Maybe I’d put myself together incorrectly. Maybe I put myself together, well enough to work but I was put together doing the work that wasn’t assigned to me so I had to be broken so that the pieces that are put together are carefully crafted together for the blessing that I was broken to be. I’m just so grateful.
I have to shout out some people (even if they don’t know it):
1. Bella Grace
2. Pastor Cindy Carr
3. Dymon (www.dymonexpressions.wordpress.com)
4. Rev. Bankole Akinbinu
5. Angel Akinbinu
6. Ms. Barbara Carter
7. Spencer Greene
8. Dashay Carter
9. Chantaya King
10. Darell Houseton
11. Tasha Grant
*There are others that I could thank but I wanted to thank these now
“Thank You!” because you all have supported me (perhaps unknowingly) and blessed me in my brokenness. You’ve cared for the person and not the problem. I am so grateful that you didn’t condemn me and discourage me. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers.
Be encouraged! Even in brokenness – there still is something in you. There still is light that comes through your brokenness. Even when we don’t understand it (why we are broken, how we became broken, how long we will be broken) we are still blessed. Don’t be discouraged, because you can still be a light/a blessing in your brokenness. I’m a witness that even in brokenness, you can still receive blessings and be a blessing! Trust God and know that all those shattered pieces will be put back together and the light that you are will shine through. There is better for you and for me…while we wait…be a blessing because you still can be!
Stay blessed, a blessing & encouraged!