So, I randomly feel like posting a rant…here goes…
I know I titled this “Love Without Expectation” but perhaps I should have called it “Give Without Getting…Getting Upset”. As I watch my relationships from a place of…ruins, rebuilding and restoration I notice that wherever they stand or even if they’ve fallen, I’ve tried to be what I expect from others.
We learn from our mistakes, right? Well, it seems that I’m being made to learn it – my mistake. Why give, why love with an expectation? This ideology has failed me and I think it’s due to the fact that an individual can not control the actions, thoughts, intent, feelings, etc. of others. Simply put, regardless of what they do, all I can do is give what I have. What they ‘take’ or how they change or where they left you doesn’t alter what you give/gave. I’m less bitter now because I’m growing to understand reactions and how they can envelope relationships that I once respected and now can’t remedy the hurt all because of what I believe I didn’t get vs. what I think I/know I deserve.
Am I alone? Do I stand on my own island in isolation? Do I have any company? Here’s the thing, when things don’t go as expected – there really is no loss. If you gave more than what you got, perhaps you had more to give than the other entity did. If you gave more, you gave more. When we don’t expect anything in return…we live less heavy. We tend to carry things because we expected a different outcome: for them to stay, for him to apologize when he never felt wrong and for her to stop lying. We need to live/give/love without expectation so that we aren’t left with carrying what doesn’t belong to us. We find ourselves bent out of shape by way of unmet needs that we expected someone to meet (that probably couldn’t anyway).
Drop the expectation so that when things are shown as superficial or you’ve served and are left with no more strength – you can continue in freedom. Don’t carry your needs as if you can meet them yourself. Does this mean that we should endeavor on an excursion to find someone to meet them? By no means! This means that just as we’ve labored (not in vain), regardless of how it was received, someone will come along and meet our needs. When this happens and even as we wait for this to happen – we focus on our freedom from those things that we have no control over.
Give freely. Love freely. Don’t get bogged down by others’ or your own expectations. Trust that your love and giving is needed. Don’t stop because of hurt or miscommunication or because of those who weren’t for you, anyways.
You have it for a reason – when we give freely, is there a cost?
As always – Stay blessed, a blessing, encouraged and in order!