Most times, people do things that they know are wrong because it feels right/good but what causes us to do what we know is wrong even when it feels wrong/bad? Perhaps, you’ve never indulged in this sort of behavior…but regardless of if you have or haven’t, the question still lingers – why would we do a thing like that?
I was wrong. I’ve owned that since the first time. Frustration followed me as I forfeited reason and righteousness…the outcome of a repetitive cycle that begins in wrong doing is bound to get you to feel like you’re wrong, sooner or later. I met ‘later’ seemingly slowly but our encounter has made me evaluate what I’ve claimed/owned as wrong. There I was, all in my feelings and doing right wasn’t how I felt, doing wrong was hoovering and my choice seemed to suit me, at the time…I did nothing.
Have you ever had options but none of them really appealed to you? I’m sure you have and maybe you just chose one to choose but I decided differently and I can confess…while doing ‘nothing’ isn’t something I would recommend, it has provided me with the opportunity to seek clarity and gain a sure footing before I make another move that separates me from satisfaction. Doing nothing didn’t make me feel as if there was a void in my life that needed to be filled but it did make me feel voided of my superficial sense of success. Why was I even trying to entertain the choices I did have? What was I after? What did my pursuit mean? Many believe that lacking action – being stagnant – is a terrible place to be in. I’ve come to see it as a neutral zone because although I didn’t complete what could have offered a better outcome, I’m still not in the quick sand of results that could have been detrimental. Call me indecisive. Call me unsure. Call me what you will, but this is my confession and now I know, for sure, I can have whatever I’m willing to put my all into. I can be excellent and successful, just when I decide to and am willing to endure, even slowly, to accomplish what’s meaningful for me.
Live and let live. Be clear about what you want and live in your ‘why’ of it all. The necessary can’t be negotiated, so when you’re ready to give what your ‘why’ requires – choose what will allow you to give it all you’ve got.
***This post is part of Write Your Ass Off April, a Twenties Unscripted 10-Day Writing Challenge #WYAOApril***