The Parable of my Change

A hard and lonely time
Soon compassion and understanding I would find
For I was dead & now am alive
My journey changed me
My character
My persona
My being
My journey IT changed me

Through the lies, hurt, and my holding in
It was a time of what I call
“my suicide”
Living I thought; yet only existing
I made it because my journey IT changed me

I had evidence and no doubt that my journey changed me
Yet, I wondered why my hollow insides could not be satisfied
My shadow fell which was enough to leave me with indecision
You see, the shadow fell and I hesitated and I now regret it

I’m lost and alone- my journey helped me find myself * It changed me
A hard and lonely time- I learned that life wasn’t meant to be easy
* It changed me
Soon compassion and understanding I would find- I finally realized that “I” was all I needed
*It changed me
For I was dead & now am alive- My journey was my resurrection
My journey changed me
My character- it grew and developed
My persona- I had to start over
My being- I finally knew who I really was
My journey IT changed ME


I’m Better…So MUCH Better Now 

I’ve been lost and alone it seemed
I’ve mingled in mess
& even dabbled in doubt of myself
I’ve gained and lost respect
I held on to fear
Suicidal….sums that up
Wanting to leave pain and hurt
Desiring love and change
Suicide would change it all so it seemed
Until….I began to love myself
I found love-the deepest love within me
I learned how beautiful I was as I love me
Growing fonder of who I was and could become
Never conceited–Noticing my character
Never boastful—I’ve always been humble
The change of love in my life murdered suicide
I wanted to live and chose life
And now had the opportunity to do just that
Minus the fear and shame of my past
I’m better…So MUCH Better Now
I grew up in hate and anguish
Never to speak hate
But it grew as it resided within me
I loved God but hated some things in my life
Hypocritical?? No, just what I felt
How I’ve felt
But I’m BETTER Now
Loving myself
My life
Led me to loving without regret
I hinder hate
I’m Better Now
Through love…Through life…Through it all
I’ve been changed for the better
I met you after my change
You make me smile
Your love makes my heart smile and laugh
I’m Better Now…Because of your love
You loved me past my pain
Through my tears
Over my obstacles
In my distress
Now, I’m Better
Love is my testimony
Love is my life
I love in spite of
Because love has made me better
I’m so MUCH Better Now




Finance my frustration


You couldn’t afford this feeling
Foreign to clarity

I’m flustered
I’m failing
I’m focused on this frustration too much
No further can I fix my mind on frustration

Pay me for my pain
Pressure me into forging my life away to pity


You couldn’t afford this priority of praise to my flaws
Extinction of excellence

Support me in my stumbling

I’m stuck in satisfaction with sin
I’m finding that I’ve settled for these situations
No further can I survive in this status

This season it’s raining. But it’s good because the rain precedes growth of life! I’m ready to grow up.

I’m glad you can’t
because my faith is a process.
It is a lifestyle.

Rain does endure
Pain does pierce pride
Frustration does foster fear
BUT Praise the Father that Reigns
I will have new life

I will be paid in FULL!
I’m simply waiting to finish this work down here
I’m anticipating my last signature affixed to my final payment
My faith follows….

As my praise leads me to the check cashing capital
Governed by Christ



My life is full of anguish and pain
It’s your fault, you hurt me
You tried again but this time I’m remaining sane

For the hurt you caused I hated you
But now I’m Better because I met someone who is Bigger

You tried to steal not only my pleasure
But the very reason I exist
You stole what rightly belonged to me
I’m Better now so listen to this

For the frustration you caused I hated you
But now I’m Better because I met someone who is Bigger

The Bigger and Better this someone gets
He’s the love of my life and my All in All
He gave me back what was stolen PLUS
He’s the reason why I didn’t fall

I’ve tried to let go, I’ve even prayed for your victory
You did it again and the rest is history
And again you stole what belongs to me
A friend not but an enemy

This pain I feel reoccurs and has gotten stronger
Until Now, because I refuse to let you

Hold what’s mine in the palm of your hands
Lie, get bailed out, just to do it all again
Scheme wrong, screw it up
Trip over it, and fall
Take mine, Have yours
And have you think that’s the end of it all

Sticky fingers, on what? on whose?
You don’t have to suffer and engage in pain
You don’t have to hurt, like me, so why should I have to?

You know what-It’s ova’
This pain ends today
Cuz with every word I write
The pain slowly but surely drifts away

Bigger are you, than I
But Bigger is the Lord who looks low and sits High
Bigger than you is the mess you shall face
Better is the Almighty who grants you and I sufficient grace

Bigger & Better is HE who is in me
Than he in you
Fall on your face, drop everything
Beg for things Bigger
And the Better will be added unto you

Try JESUS-The Best- It gets Better
Leave Satan-The Worst-It hurts
Ask for better, than bigger, of the BEST
It’s your choice-It’s a test

My hurt-My gain
Your change-My faith
Your decision-Your destiny
Your weakness- Won’t be the weak in me

GROW UP-Live right
Do what you know is pleasing in God’s sight
Open your eyes, Take a stand
Die to your flesh, and live for Jesus once again

Bigger & Better
Are you worth how you live?
Bigger & Better
Why take and not give?
Bigger & Better
Your life can be
If you surrender all to God and stop taking from me

The reality of all this is
You belong to the king
Who the Son sets free is free as can be
Take, like I, what has been stolen by the enemy

You are the light of the world
Live in it-SHINE
For everyone who asks receives
So request through your final life line

Your anger, Your pain- Let Go
Get Better
Submit yourself to HIM
He’s Bigger

For the pain you caused I grew
So now I want you to get Better
because my heart is now Bigger





You can struggle
Be overwhelmed with poverty in substance, thoughts and feelings
Not until you succumb to the status quo
But until you celebrate the something you have and the somebody you are

You can lie
Never let the truth leave your lips
Not until you are consumed by what you speak
But until you hear and accept truth

You can carry your burdens
Lug the load
Not until you are weak
But until you surrender your baggage

You can lay prostrate
Keep praying
Not until your change comes
But until you are changed

You can push
Clear your path
Make room for your praise

You can press
Make progress
Move beyond your present position
Move to the promise already made to you

Go ahead
You can press



4 thoughts on “Poetry…

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